As I have matured and grown up a lot in these past few college years, I have been able to analyze the ways men and women communicate with one another either effectively or ineffectively. Most of the time it is ineffective. I have had first hand experience with a long term 5 year relationship. It was a growing experience in itself and now I can look back and check off what the problem areas were. Like most relationships and marriages, the communication was absent. Men and women tend to not understand each others' mindsets only because they fail to really LISTEN. Part of communication is listening to what is being said, understanding, and applying it. Throughout the course of that relationship, there was communication with irritation, frustration, hurt, pain, anger, aggression, and rather than letting the emotions take over the conversation, step out of the emotion box and into the content of what its all about. I have now been able to know what communication is really supposed to be like with my fiancee. Although it has been a short time, our level of listening, communicating, understanding, and applying is phenomenal. It really can be done, however, it take maturity and listening to make it happen.
I believe that people in the social aspect, marriage status, and relationship aspect must understand what is being said and how one can effectively turn that conversation into an action.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
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2 comments:
I do agree that listening is a very important component when communicating with anyone of ANY gender. If we do not listen, then we are basically missing important information that is needed within various conversations. I wonder if you know if there is a way people can solve this problem of not being able to listen to one another? I don't, and that is not to be negative. People are so individually driven within our society that we rarely make time to listen to what other people have to say, especially if they go against our own morals/values. It is unfortunate because it gives people the chance to open their minds and experience new bits of information. I feel that until our society learns how to effectively listen to one another, it will be very difficult for us to successfully move forward.
I really liked reading this blog. I am also engaged so congratulations! I know how much work a serious relationship takes. You are absolutely right when you said that so many relationships fail not because of lack of communicating but a lack of listening. Listening is the cornerstone to any healthy relationship whether it is a fiance, acquaintance, or friend we have to listen.
You made a very cool visual when you said that as a good listener we need to step of of the emotions box and into the content of what it is all about.
I also discussed in my blog how different male and females are when it comes to communication. That is why i think there is something so beautiful about married couples who have been together for so long because that takes a lot of practice as a good and patient communicator.
Good luck with all of your wedding stuff!
Reese
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