Tuesday, October 7, 2008
non verbal messages
I have been in many instances where I misread what was non-verbally being said to me. At times I have the tendency of asking people, "what's wrong?" because either an expression on their face might make me think they are upset, bothered, or irritated. Also, the tension in their voice might sound a little uptight or abnormal and make me think that either I have done something to impose on that feeling or that they are having a bad day. Either way, we can always make assumptions about an individuals' non-verbal communication however, our thoughts will not always be correct. For example, I used to have an apartment with a very close friend of mine. We had been friends for 3 years a grew close like sisters. When we first moved in our communication and friendship was outstanding until throughout time she would enter the apartment not speaking or slamming doors, and being very reserved. It would make me feel extremely uncomfortable and wonder what was wrong with her. I immediately began to think of something I might have said or done. It would make my mood a little uneasy and make me feel in a worse mood. After sometime of it building up and creating tension, I addressed my feelings to her and she clarified that it had nothing to do with me. It was from other stress-related issues and that the non-verbal messages she was showing and sending were not about me. This situation taught me that these messages are not always what they seem to be.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I agree with you that we are not always correct when it comes to a person's nonverbal messages. I have also been in a situation where people thought someone was wrong with me because I too am a very reserved person when I am at my home, especially when I am stressed out and in a bad mood. But now, I understand how sometimes our nonverbal messages can be taken the wrong way, and I try to make a verbal point that I am not in the mood to talk or that I'm stressed out and busy. Perhaps that is something we all need to do, in order to clarify that sometimes our nonverbal messages aren't always what they seem.
I too agree with you when you said that people are not always correct in their interpretations of someone’s mood. I get this allot, I a can be a very serious person and people always mistake that for me being angry or tired. I especially get this allot in my work place, people always assume that because I am not smiling that I am mad or don’t feel like being there. That is not the case at all, I do tend to always have a serious look but in my job I can’t always play, and its not that I am mad that is just the way I look and people are always mistaken. What do they expect me to do, walk around with a smile on my face 24 hours a day, well that not natural for me so that is definitely not going to happen. I hate when I always get told "You look mad, cheer up". When in fact I am not mad at all!!!!!!!
Wow, your blog was so interesting to read. I was just having a conversation with my best friend and she was telling me that she was misinterpreting things that happened in our day to mean that I was upset with her or pushing her away.
I liked that you used vivid examples of nonverbal conversations with your roommate such as the slamming doors. It is so easy to read into the nonverbal part of life too much. I think mood and timing has a lot to do with the way we interpret nonverbal communication and that is very dangerous.
I once misinterpreted that my fiance was really mad at me because he didn't want to kiss me or be close to me. The reality is that he had ben fighting with his brother and the situation was not a result of me at all.
Overall I found this to be a very interesting blog!
Post a Comment