Monday, November 3, 2008
perceptions of what we see
I do agree that we all have judgments on people that we potentially want to date based on their looks only because our society is entirely concerned with the outward appearance of individuals rather than focusing on other aspects. At times I tend to place my attention on what they may be wearing, what shoes they are wearing, or how they talk, etc. These judgments can affect how we perceive people and how we view others in the same manner. We should not show signs of these prejudgments only because it gives our society the notion that it is acceptable when in reality it does not benefit our social attitudes. Chapter 6 touches on the interpersonal spectrum of how we interact within relationships and manage predictable intimacy. We must develop relational skills and preserve effective and responsible communication within our relationships. Although relationships are always changing and there are many stages to consider, we should always keep in mind, that judgments will not establish effective and appropriate outcomes. Relationships are built and maintained through communication and information. In everyday interaction communicators need to give feedback in clear,non-evaluative ways. Duck's theory in relationship development does make sense to me because he insists that partners need a different set of communication skills to handle each phase and interpret others' feelings. This becomes very crucial for partners in a relationship to face each phase and complexities.
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3 comments:
Licizpieciz,
How people judge one another is quite interesting and I agree that we should not judge others solely by what they are wearing, their shoes or how they communicate (talk). The preinteraction cues you spoke of (shoes/what they are wearing) seem somewhat shallow in judging an individual. Have you ever viewed the musical “Thoroughly Modern Milly?” In that movie Julie Andrews plays a character whose main focus is marrying a rich handsome boss. The main character (male role), who is interested in Julie, is actually a millionaire and does not act or dress like one. He is nothing that Andrews is looking for. In a sense, the lead male actor was trying to filter out women who were solely out for his money or status. (I thought you might enjoy this musical as you expressed interest in the theater arts).
At times I will go shopping dressed down, so that the sales people do not bother me. I am attempting to relay a message that I can’t afford anything that they have to offer in their store and that I am, in a sense, a window shopper. I believe that we can’t judge a book by its cover. You do have to read a bit more before assessing the value or content.
I too think its interesting on how each of us (no matter who we are) in some way,shape or form judge people and sometimes we dont even realize that we are doing so. I believe that judging people is a very bad characteristic because we have no clue what that person is even about and we have no idea as to their background or upbringing. I believe our first impression on others is very important but the way we look and dress shouldnt determine the way we are seen, but its sad to say that it always happens. I believe we need to take a step back and look at others for who they are and not by what they are wearing, it is pretty shallow that people do this all the time. I thnkg tha tpeople who judge others perhaps have low self esteem and maybe are not truely happy with themselves.
Hi LicizPieciz! You post was interesting, as were the comments left. My question to you is this: What are the messages you are focusing on when judging other people? What do their shoes say about them? What message is coming across to you? The cost? How they match his choice of clothing? Or something else? And when you refer to how they talk, are you speaking of interaction with other people? A possible accent? Voice inflection? :)
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